I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
