I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
