I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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