I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i came on her dog
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Randomize
