every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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