But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
