I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
