did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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