Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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