So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
