I'm drive I can fine osifer
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
