dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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