Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
