therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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