I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
