I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
