just tell him i said nine months
he shaved USA in his pubs
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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