I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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