pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
