Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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