Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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