Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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