As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
