My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize