remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
