Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
