What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
