He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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