I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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