when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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