He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
