My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
