I'm passing your future prison.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
