I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize