I can't watch pbs sober anymore
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
