That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
