Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
