you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
