Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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