you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
