every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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