so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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