He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
