i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
