She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
