called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
