I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
two words...techno handjob
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize