i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
