I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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