i don't like sucking hair
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I had to cum in my sink.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
