my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
