Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
