Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
