he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My feet surprised me
Randomize
