Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
