it was like his penis was on wheels.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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