so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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