I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
