i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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